Sunday, November 27, 2005
There are always times in life when you start feel you're not being appreciated enough, no matter how much you try, no matter how well you've done or can achieve. People simply see you as average, replaceable.
Plus I just realised that my boss is so scamming cos hiring me he gets an employee who does everything from organising his personal life to drafting legal documents on the 'assumed' basis that it is required since he said chambering students only get $500 per month and he's now paying $750, BUT....if he would have hired a real personal assistant he would have had to pay $1000 for an employee who obviously won't be running out in the middle of the day buying him shoes because he showed up in slippers or looking for wrapping paper to wrap his box to be used for ang paus for his wedding because a REAL PA would have a contract. SO....he's actually now paying less for more work done....I feel cheated.
Just really tired these days. My KGS go rank dropped to 17k? because I played a ranked game (my first in so many months!) against Bleyse (Strength 10-12k, KGS rank 14k?) and I played as white with 0.5 komi and lost by 0.5 moku. Then ranked dropped from 13k? to 17k?. I feel like this is forced sandbagging. I can crush a same rank opponent (14k) with 3 handi by over 40 points. Felt glad about the game with Bleyse though. Finally I seem to know what I'm doing. He used to crush my groups and eventhough he said he was playing around in this game, the result really wasn't bad. Zombie would be proud....a 0.5 game! Humbleness at its prime Sir ^^.
Completed three pieces of art today. My auction is slow.....and so not worth it. But anyway...sudden inspiration, so here they are....Derek nichan said I'm getting better. Also recommended a CG coloring instruction book to get me started on computer coloring.........I'll see....sooner or later.
Star Shine Star Bright for ChemicalStar
I Inside, a shot of angel and devil wings
Tiger Jade Spirit to capture the colors of the white tiger in jade.
Fun pretty picture ^^
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 11:00 PM
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Sick. Very sick. Not the kind where I'm stuck in bed and feels like hell, but the kind where I feel like I'm getting sicker and ish in hell but look totally fine.
It's just everything. Tha whole issue, and then with the university to get the forms out and then with work being kindda sidelined, and way too much kgs and gaia, and overwhelmed with art and tarot readings.
This is the new pic of Slade and Reptar.
After finishing a reading, I did this. And then came onto kgs. It's now 12.13. And work tomorrow.
I think my plan to overwhelm myself with stuff to distract my mind is working too well. Now I seem to be running from one thing to the other, no breaks inbetween. Have I mention about unimelb's need to have the IDP certify my grades? I went to the office again with the certs, and all they did was did a copy. I OFFERED them a certified copy the day before.
Someone please tell me what's the difference...
Am now completely zoning out infront of the computer and half crying. It was just last christmas I felt this exact same way. How I dealt with it was singing christmas songs everyday the whole day. Humming them, singing them, running the melodies through my mind. Thing is.........I'm breaking down. Everything feels completely horrible and I don't even know what I'm doing except trying to go through each day busybusybusy. One of these days, it's going to collapse. Well...me...ish...
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 2:38 AM
Sunday, November 20, 2005
The prices of today....
When I was young..........
Actually when I was young I was too young to care about money and when I grew, I didn't really spend much......BUT
OMG....
Seriously. Like the price for packaging! Is the cost of one gift! The price of shipping! Is equivalent to each gift total cost for each of them!
So essentially...............I'll be paying double just for shipping.....*has gone broke*
I'll be the first person to be super glad when someone invents a instant transportation device or something. No fuss, no high costs, no worries about what if the package disappears or get destroyed. By the way, quick post is cheaper than normal shipping eventhough surely all of us want our letters and packages to be delivered quickly right?
Anyway.
Very...very....expensive....
And worrying.
Has now got a headache.
Ack, still hasn't written my uni essay ><. There's nothing in my head. I can't even think of the first sentence. I know once I start I'll finish it but ugh.....
The forms are more or less in order once Mr Ellis finishes the referral sheets. Alot of people ask me how I felt about going.....not sure really. At first I was excited then bleh about UCL, then good again, and now it's just neutral. =/
Going on monday to extract documents from court.
Art has really been taking off. Right now doing alot of quick sketches for those on KGS, and some are already putting on their profiles!
Like UTDEspy, Launchpad, Drimgere. Goninja has yet to put his up....but yeah.
This is Nuclear Tesuji 1, the first colored image for the Battlefield
Nuclear Tesuji 2, featuring the classic goban throwing ^^.
Shadow Dreams Art Shop on Gaia has also started Secret Santa, so I hope some orders come in. Art auction is doing ok, has some who expressed bidding interest. It formally starts on next saturday on 26th Nov.
I hope from the auction to do some really good artwork.
Busy busy sending gifts. Monday I'll be sending the rest *sweatdrops* hoping to get DHL. If not well, back to post office. *yawns* Shopping is fun. Especially looking for gifts. OO, I found some stuff I'd like, namely anime art books. What else right? Some from new series I haven't seen. Hoping to poke dad for it. Mother wrote back she got something really good for me. I'm thinking that is the goban since it hasn't arrived yet.
Kindda got lots of stuff happening. I'm really tired, especially from daily early wakings up. Not as bad now as I get to half sleep at my desk with Boss gone to Shanghai for his honeymoon. *gawks* SHANGHAI? So unromantic. I may have mentioned before.
Boss partner has alot of illness in him. =/. Right now he's going through explosions of migraines and hacking coughs. His secretary has some back nerve issues. Etc. On Friday, the other staff went for lunch (as usual) and then I went with the partner, and we ended up at the same cafe place, which made things a little awkward. The politics of office life huh?
I still don't know what to write..........and got some artwork to finish tomorrow...gah
Probably need to fit in clan matches. Dunno.....the iron man tourney is coming up but I don't think I'll be able to enter. Maybe next time then....*sighie*
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 12:26 AM
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Inazuma holding a Launchie plushie. She said it was cute =p
Done by Dayharri of the sgc clan I think. Kakashisan is somewhere there. The green one is Li..........etc etc etc.......
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 2:19 AM
Saturday, November 12, 2005
Watched Zorro 2 with dad today. I'm not much of an action fan, with the jumping, sword fighting, the ha yah! Whoo. Kachop! The horse was very funny though.
Did a drawing of Espy and Chris.
Espy san.
Her comment: I have no mouth...
TSC celila's number one fan Chris san.
Oh well....
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 1:01 AM
Friday, November 11, 2005
Two more.
For Silveh. The East of Eden is having a birthday bash for her. Also several events and contests. Right now am thinking of entering their coloring contests....
Li, Dayharri, Kibbles and Launchpad. Will add their comments later. ^^
Here's Dayharri's comment/s: another need-to-coloured-white-silhouette-sketch? ^__^
@_@ ya yaa. that's me ... 20years ago.
Launchpad: Hey! That's pretty sweet.
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 1:23 AM
Thursday, November 10, 2005
I do suppose. However much I don't like to do something, I end up completing it....accordingly my horoscope informs me I may be a doormat, but so do hate disappointing people. Problem...
Boss hasn't even touched my reference sheets. Need them to apply to St Mary's of Melbourne Uni. OMG.............it's even tougher to apply there than for Oxford and UCL! There's atleast 10 pages to fill plus essay plus two referees! Now I think I may have made a mistake of not accepting UCL's offer. They even gave an ensuite single room! Now have to dredge through 10 pages just to get a room at St. Mary's and it's not even a sure thing of being accepted into the college....just for a room.............
Anyway, I tried to get Boss as my second referee and he took one look, said he was too lazy, told me to write it out and he'll copy what I wrote. Self evaluation he says.....
Two days later. Reference sheets sits gathering dust on his desk.
YOUR WEDDING IS NO EXCUSE FOR NOT WRITING UP MY REFERENCE SHEETS- I bellowed quietly to myself.
Rolls on bed. Dad is back for a few days. So got thursday and friday off to spend time with him. Unfortunately the cinema we always go to had a fire over there and is currently closed. Also our driver is missing. Again. This is the 16th driver? I think they got radar alert to run away after a certain time. Either that or they're scared of grandma.
Grandma is scaring me too. She has made apparent that she wants to move to Australia with me. To uni. In the same apartment. To cook.
*o.0 <---- This is me with a brain tumour.
Yes it is possible.
To get cancer from stress.
I'm cracking myself up...
Completed a bunch of drawings. All black and white inked. Thus starts the KGS Files: Battlemania, showcasing drawings of the clanners. Mostly this is sort of a christmas thing.
Celila, very hot. Her comments: If only I have that figure...
Ruutana and Prodigious, cute chibi form. Loved the way Pro turned out.
Ruu's comment: I look like I'm 12, and I don't have black hair.
Pro's comment: Ah, I just realised you're Suku.
Next to be drawn are Launchie and Kibbles.
Did this for an art contest.
Derek passed a link to an interesting blog today. It's by a female lawyer in New York, and it's really funny. Here's the link- Opinionistas
Was talking to Dayharri today, halfway to persuading him to join the clan until he goes and talked to our leader....who else.....Kakashisan. He was very put off by the fact that our clan leader is not involved in clan games. Says it's very contradictory leadership, and stated 'it suits sabaki doesn't it?'
Well.............at this rate.........I hope the reason why the others haven't signed up is not because they went to talk to our leader.........*sighs*
EEK....the pet from Kura Isle is so cute, it's animated and got wings which flutters. Also getting a animated Hakuryu from Canthe soon, maybe it'll be blog mascot ^^.
Christmas is coming. Lots of presents to decide....*plots secretly*
Am going to drag up some issue to write about in next post. I had two, then forgot...........ehehe....*sweatdrops*
Off I got then.
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 1:40 PM
Friday, November 04, 2005
Tahatan is my roleplay character in the Soquili in Gaia. He is a young hunter, and here I completed another pic of him with his bow.
For some reason, the green background came out a bit bluey.............weird.
Also...well....just pattering around. Things are here and there, standstill and what not.
Interesting post the other day from Zombie. He says you can learn about the person from how they play go. I wonder what my play says about me..............gotto ask him.
So that's it for today.
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 10:34 PM
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Occasionally, it's that which we know and that we have seen which will always be better than new things.
Like Mulan. Mulan the disney movie had such great songs, and a nice plot, although taken from the chinese history and tons of movies but anyway............Mulan II....not so good. And wishy washy songs.........I'm not happy ...=(
Also I found out that SGC the clan had Dadada 9d in the clan who then defected to Sente O Poder whose leader is a 29k.
I have nothing to say to that.
Celila has copied and pasted the whole Battlefield storytime into a senseis.xmp.net page completed with chats in between. You can read it here Celila Storytime
Finished some stuff for Gaia. Not as good, but.....had a really good picture in my head of the lover pic, but didn't come out as planned.
I figured that I so need to be in love in order to do romantic scenes.........
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 12:17 AM
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Isn't it time people start realising something is terribly terribly wrong. There are too many coincidences to say that every disaster is merely once in a lifetime. *knock knock* they are ALL in THIS lifetime. Just in case no one noticed that the greatest so forth catastrophes have all occurred within the last four years, intertwined man made and natural. Each and everytime, we see communities growing stronger and together, an outpouring of support and 'rare' 'selfless' kindness. *cough* yeah, I'm a cynic......true selflessness do not require recognication nor will the people behind it need their names papered throughout the world. The loans and supplies aid given by celebrities for example......Katrina disaster on the US east coast? Yeah by now we know that Lisa Marie Presley, Joan Travolta and his wife, Oprah, etc etc etc, yeah they were involved and had time to have a team of video and camera men following them. Hmm....nice use of equipment and manpower....
There are some positive results from the various disasters, we can truly see that human compassion has survived through the ages, still strong (not including negative emotions of anger and grief ^^)
Afterall, that little province in north Indonesia is 2/3 through the way of gaining independence, India and Pakistan are working together in Kashmir, the condition in Iraq...well........they were suppose to have a constitution by now....anti nuclear talks have restarted with North Korea...hmm, maybe maybe...
Still, if there aren't going to be some drastic changes, I'm betting conditions will worsen around the world. Come look at it.
Four years ago, the New York twin towers collapsed in the first major terrorist attack in the western world, major because it happened on American soil and they basically ignored the 40years of terrorism in the middle east but I digress. Since then, we've had the war in Iraq, and seen the division of the world akin to the Cold war although obviously didn't make as much difference. Two years ago, south and south east asia was devastated by an unexpected tsunami which hit over 10 countries and islands, and affected the world over by the death count. Interesting link, the tsunami nondiscriminatorily affected the muslim community in Indonesia, the Indian in India, the multicultural in Malaysia and so on, then echoed itself in hurricanes lashing along the US east coast this year, where Christianity accounts for 60% of the affiliated religion? Did I forget to mention the bombings in Bali? Also bout a month ago, earthquake struck the area around Pakistan.....well, certainly regardless of race and religion, people still died. About time someone realised that some higher power has seen the way we act upon earth, and decided to retaliate. About time we realise there are no differences between lives.
Hard enough with people having to go through their daily lives, studying, working, raising children, life's ups and downs. Now to be reminded that yeah, we create catastrophes, it'll happen right back at us.....that's life........
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 12:08 AM
