Thursday, September 30, 2004
Ne, I don’t know why…………a lot of people say that I have an aloof face…………….moi? *feigns look*…my boss says that give me a couple of years and I would attain that look………then a human rights lawyer said I had an interesting aloof face………………..nani yo………tomorrow got Sussex representative coming…….. I get to miss Business!! But he’s a engineering rep…………still……………it’s one of my choices for law, so me going………..
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 10:56 PM
Now he is just avoiding me………although everyone else keep saying don’t be paranoid but still…………..it’s been one day……….and though we bumped into each other once, he quickly went on his way, and the I passed in front of him and he didn’t say anything, then he was at his locker and as I was coming, he quickly went back in the common room again……………… I am in despair…….and no one seems to want to go to prom………..they all so…….so………..*cries*…..my first time to prom and no one wants to go……….they say expensive and boring…a bunch of rich kids of even richer parents say it’s expensive………and it’s year 13’s last year of prom and they say don’t want…….instead they want to go to some international buffet for $50….half price of prom cost…………….*faints*
And courier service very expensive……..$50 paid to sixth form tutor for sending application…..then there’s a separate oxford application fee, and another for UCAS application fee…………..
At least I got an extension to do my business essay on guerrilla marketing………..yay…………..less stress……….was going to do it in free period but I don’t think I was going to finish……extension works better…….but now got history presentation….and tomorrow’s sociology seminar……..and literature analysis…..and literature presentation……and sociology essay due next week………….is it time for fainting yet? *chuckle*…….. I am going insane………………
Nice Rurouni Kenshin episode today………….so sad…… I missed yesterday’s one!! Was busy doing homework………the life of a student tis a sad one fellow travellers………..but today was the start of Shishio’s fire attack on Edo in the Rakugen battleship………*hums happily*
Mou………..today….is whining day ne…………olive avoiding me……..mop mop………and these three guys kept poking me in the side with their feet…………………….*holds nose*…………….and olive………olive kun…………….*sobs*
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 3:52 PM
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
I finally did it!! I asked him out…………J kun………..*snuggle*……actually what happened was that I sat next to my friend who was seated nearby to him, then I wrote a note and gave it to him……..then he turned to me and said *his voice all kawaiie* “I don’t know if I am going to prom”……………. I think I died……..then came back to life… that’s such a diplomatic way to say ‘no’…………*wail*………..then my friend scribbled another note asking if he liked someone…and he scribble back “I’m not waiting for anyone but I don’t know if I am going to prom”, then my friend wrote back that I really wanted to go with him, and he replied “If I go, then I’ll go with her.Ok?”…………. I died again…………..*hiccup*…………… I hate the ‘if’ word………….there’s no certainty in the ‘if’ word……….plus he wrote ‘ok?’ in the end which alludes that he wanted to be left alone so he needed to answer quickly to get rid of all the notes…………so he hates me………….*hiccup*……..
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 10:48 AM
Monday, September 27, 2004
I got his photos!!! My friend sent it to me......three of them!!! hahahahaa.....................
Well.....................kawaiie ne????
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 11:07 PM
Friday, September 24, 2004
Girls are so hard to understand........honestly.............and the word 'hard' is not completely covering it all...............
I didn't really care......everyone is different, everyone has their own lives which just happen to cross paths with others...and mine........
I don't pretend to understand everything..because I basically don't....there is no way on earth, that I casn understand everyone I come into contact with.....but I try. I listen, I wait.............I try..............it just gets a little hard when I get yelled at for no reason because someone is going through major mood swings...............
I don't accept that people are so different that you can't understand them.....that is not the way the world works.........if it did, then no one would be talking to each other...........
It's ok if you say I misunderstood................it's even ok to say that I got it completely wrong and that I didn't understand in the first place, but I don't appreciate being told that "Oh, no one understands me and they never will cos we are too different and maybe I don't want them to understand me".........................
I'm through being nice..............go through all the PMS you want, but don't get me involved......................
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 10:51 PM
I am wondering how those huge trucks manage to contain whatever big bulky very-potentially-going-to-hurt-someone goods in their carrier area just by a massive piece of cloth like thing around the truck……….actually it looks like cloth, but I think it’s plastic…would make more sense if it was plastic…….weird that nowadays you can’t tell what is what anymore………I digress……..but certainly won’t those goods just bounce into the plastic and tear through? I would think so…….and they do flap around dangerously so……….and one of those car-transportation vehicles (the one which at least five cars stacked up at the back), those immobile cars are only kept aboard by two stopper thingamajibs at the foot of the rear tires…..and the other sections of the cars are attached to flimsy one-foot strings……..not steel cables, but strings……….weird……..
Ugh, I was going to ask that crush of mine today to go to the prom….but ah……didn’t work out…..basically I can’t talk to him……. I could…but the shyness thing gets in the way……plus he basically just sits there and look around then goes join his friends…….it gets hard to strike up conversation with an entire bunch of strangers………..demo kawaiie des……….*hugs chibi olive*……….oh yeah, his nickname is called Olive Oil……….(no, nothing to do with his complexion!!), just that on the day we gave him the nickname he was wearing an olive green shirt……..speaking of which, he looks great in any color………..*dreams*….and my friend got his email address!! *stalker mode on*…………..*mourn* he’s going to get very scared…..what to do……..plus I think he probably likes someone else………he doesn’t really react to my presence…….you would think he would give some indication……….any indication………. I am alive………*checks pulse*
And today, the bunch of year 12s were busy putting a puzzle together……..honestly…….a puzzle…..and not a big 1000 piece one with a fantastic picture, but one which said ‘I luv Fish & Co’….and it’s blue, with non-descriptive pictures of child-drawn fishes around the center………maybe he liked one of the girls that’s why he helped…………..*sinks into pillow*
I am hungry…………and I want to dance……..*is hungry*……….*is having a headache*
*go watch TV*
Ehehehe………the Shishio part of Rurouni Kenshin has begun in today’s episodes……….Shishio is so cool…….and so is Soujirou………kakoiiee………………………*drool*
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 10:46 PM
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
hurray hurray............... did I tell? A friend of mine manage to get photos of my crush in yr 12!!!!! They will be up soon!!! Hopefully..........hahahaa
And the super sleuthing of me and another friend manage to get more info.....apparently he takes five subjects: computer, chemistry, physics, maths and further maths.........ah, typical science student.......looks like maybe heading to engineering................hehehe
oh, and the other day when i was coming home from MUN CCA.........well, when I was getting into the car, he walked past and got into a red car!!! So...............his car is red........well, not his, but his mother's or father's......................
*feels so proud at all the information*............has this officially gone to stalking? hahahahahha
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 10:44 PM
Osh b’gosh kickboxing lessons started today………..*pout* *slumps* *perks up* actually it’s not that bad, it’s actually quite fun………..^.^
After spending a half an hour running around a lot (the foot abrasions are quite real people) because the lessons were not at the dance studio even though the said it was and they never notified us with any changes and thus spent the mad rush of running around looking for the CCA coordinator who also has a habit of walking around (a lot) looking at other CCAs!!!!
*puts feet in warm soothing water*
At least we finally found him……….and another rush to the room……….on the other side………….tadaa………….*hums*
So the instructor teaches you how to punch and kick……..as expected……but also the different ways to use your hands and legs…..like elbow hits, and knee hits…….and the proper way to extend your arms……….and to keep your fists protecting your face………*sigh happily* ………….
So I get a great workout (which includes push ups) and have fun too……………and there are a lot of girls in the class…….overwhelming…………a lot………….
Oh yeah…. I think I may be going the Hague in January for the THIMUN (The Hague International Model United Nations) conference…………..*brrrr* cold des………….hopefully I won’t freeze to death……but I am wondering if I could even lift off the ground in the first place………see, the scared of planes and flying phenomena has not been settled yet…and a 15 hour flight is not going to help………………*thinks*……..sleeping pills might work……but what will happen if an accident occurs and I am dosed out on sleeping pills?
23rd January on route to Netherlands, a young aspiring international barrister participating in the prestigious THIMUN conference was killed when the plane experienced difficulties and was forced to crash land in an obscure region. All other passengers were found safe, however the young THIMUN delegate could not escape due to an overdose of sleeping pills…………
*sweats*……….you have got to be kidding………………..
I’m going to prom………….prom prom…………my first time too……… I’m so proud……….. I never went to all the other ones, so this would be a momentous occasion…………..although I am being forced to wear the outfit I had during graduation………..parents are so mean…………..*sniffle*…….fine…………………………you think I could get a date? Oh yeah………I got pictures of yr 12 crush!! A friend of mine took discreet photos with her digital camera………and got at least three front and side shot photos….hehehehehehe……………………..would be able to show soon………..dun dum da dum………………*saunters away to find nichan*
*swings back* got to know some year 12s!! *feels proud….again*………I know two girls from kickboxing……..one that used to be in MUN……..two guys given the nicknames of Moose and Hippo………*now saunter away*
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 10:26 PM
Monday, September 20, 2004
Ugh………… I think I am dying…………..my body feels like jelly being eaten from inside by moths…….quivering moths…………oh, the pain……………. It’s not so bad, more like a aching trembling within the general stomach area…………….may be I ate something bad…………….oh, food poison at my age………..could it be the sandwiched spread with kaya in the morning? Or the one biscuit in the mid-morning…………..or the curry/potato and rice lunch? This is no laughing matter……………. I think I am dying………ok, maybe not dying, but still feel like breaking both arms………or to stay in the bathroom for a very long time……. I think I may move in there for an indefinite amount of time………….
At least in the morning I was awake……..*yawn*……….got a timed essay for lit (poetry) right when school starts….it’s bound to jolt you wide open……or it could have been the mosquitoes gnawing on me all night…………
People are weird ne…………..is it something about me that people just don’t say hi to? They walk past with a blank face………….. I’m beginning to feel very desolate………….*mourn*
And I still don’t know any of the year 12s……….oh yeah, that Su-su now knows who my crush is………and he is cute……. I never said that he was gorgeous model material, the type that you just sink and swoon over…….nor did I say he was Sanzo material………….. more or a Hakkai…………….or Kogure from Slam dunk……………..so what if I like the geeky type……they are cute……kawaiie sou…..*chuckle chuckle*
I want to go to prom……….it’ll be my first time………and it’s in December or something………………..*wanna go*………..
And I need to go to my Oxford personal statement…………and homework………………………………..*faints*
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 9:26 PM
Thursday, September 16, 2004
People can be so mean.............hidoi............hontorni............in Literature class, I started humming, and then the horrible superficial...................how could he be called a guy??? asked cynically who was humming, then started whispering little stuff..............hostile environment does not make me happy.......................................mean people..............................I'm desolate now...................................*sniffle*
But better news is that the weird letterings on the blog has finally been fixed........thanks to blogger support!! Chalk one up to the system!! It works!!!! So thankyou very much.............................*big cheesy grin*
Yesterday, the chinese drama I like to watch following the story of the goddess who fell in love with a human weaver, and that they could only meet once a year in heaven when they died..........well, it ended......................so thats the story...............we pretty much knew how it was going to end but still.........it was cool...........................in the movie, they get to be with each other till the end...........but the actual legend was that heaven was angry and split them apart.....but their love was so strong that they became stars, which meets together one night in a year..........................In chinese, the goddess is called Chik Noi (cloud stitcher), and the guy Ngau Long (bull herder)...............and the stars are called uh, forgot the girl one, but the male is called weaver.....................cool story..........the japanese have it too, and a festival also............^.^
*hum*
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 10:56 PM
I found out Yr12 Guy's name!!! J...................well, I shall keep it a secret for now..............so he's called JL for now.................actually it took me and my very enthusiastic friends several tries to get the surname............... I checked the yearbooks from last year and the year before and finally got the name right......................
Kawaiie bishonen des...........I think so anyway...............and he's described as computer whiz in the year book............yes, I am relying on books to get to know the guy, but it's better than what happened the last time with CG avoiding me right? My love life is sad...........truly...........................
Oh yeah, the head of sixth form is forcing me to continue with four subjects......that means continuing literature...........*wail* according to him, there's a difference between what universities say and what they mean, and they might insist on certain subjects for qualifications............to study law!!! What is the big deal..............*grumble grumble* Oxford is over rated................so back to lit class............and lit essays.................and prose.......and poetry................and homework.............and more work.......................I want to drop lit...............................
There goes the acne.........................I think I am under stress.........................
Oh, today was house meeting......first of the year.............to decide for the house sports that would take place for about six weeks...........wow, the year 12s jumped to work immediately to registering people...............what were we doing in Yr 12? Avoiding registration...............*chuckle* avoided this time round too.......................might join later though at some other events..................
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 1:37 PM
Monday, September 13, 2004
Second week of school…………oh, the pain of it all…………nah, not that bad, but the work is piling up…………but the shock we received in the morning!! A dead rat!! Brown little thing lying on its side right outside the door of the classroom..................squeak................
we tiptoed into the room and slammed the door...............ack, but wrong class!! Actually we just thought that it was the right class because everyone was piling in..........but the everyone were prefects and they had a meeting...............so we piled out again.........into the right class........................*sigh*
I'm off to do my work now...................
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 10:52 AM
Saturday, September 11, 2004
More trouble with my blog, I see...........some stuff are whacked out here, link the adoption titles and the wordings obviously..........the last time it happened, similar thing and I don't know why....but it is seriously giving me a headache..........*sniff miserably*
A few news.......................I've got a new poem out called No One, Not me......which is available at both fictionpress.net and Poet's Sanctuary.....please go to the links sections and roam around a bit......arigato.............
A huge news coming up and hopefully would come through, is that the team of Taka and Kei would be accepting a new member to our ranks soon.........her name is Chavi, our new onechan and co-writer..................so watch out for her ne!! *runs around celebrating*
And I would soon get all those new drawings up too.........once the thing with the layout and words are fixed.....................*waves*
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 9:52 PM
Friday, September 10, 2004
As you can see, my new layout is up and about....isn't it great? Right now I'm going to go update on the adoptions and links....hee.................and oh yeah, I found a new image host called Photobucket, not bad..........................
Today..........bad day..............the person I was talking about yesterday? Whom I kindda split up with spent the whole day moping and sulking.........now I don't know what to do..............I really can't do anything since the feeling is gone, and it'll be a lie if I went back right? But still.........I feel bad...................this is emotional blackmail...........*sigh*
Back home, events got worse...............I already had a bad day, wanted a good shower.......and found two cockroaches in the bathroom. A small one, and a large still twitching one..........I thought they were dead and that my grandmother left them there, and turns out that they were actually still alive..............I nearly died............there goes plenty of insecticide spraying and water...................and then a milipede appeared too..........................*grumble*...........can't shower, can't wash my hair, I was forced to take a quick splash and hop out.............*hate insects.....especially disgusting twitching curling ones*
I finally got my shower..........like couple hours later..............*bleh*
I am going to go throw myself, drowning into T.V..............
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 8:44 PM
Thursday, September 09, 2004
I’m depressed…………….many teenagers say this and don’t know the meaning of the word, but I am living it. Just all feelings sucked out of you, and you think you are just a living carcass going through life…………..then the emotions start, not ordinary emotions, but the blackened soulless existence of pessimism that makes you want to wither away…………………..a sense of fear……..guilt………..hopelessness………no one cares for me………………….they don’t………………. I don’t think even I do anymore……………….why don’t anyone care? Wanting to curl up and lie there very, very still…………until someone sees, until someone searches, until someone come find me, want to find me, want to know what is wrong…………want to see me……………..no more smile………………….or little fake smile showing……………. I can’t breathe………………
My head hurts, I can't cry.............
I can't breathe..........
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 8:51 PM
Well, it has been nearly a week since school started and it hasn’t been so bad. Though the sixth form has been overwhelmed with the new Year 12s, things has settled down smoothly, and the homework is piling up…..what a surprise…..*chuckle*
I am both ecstatic and distant to everything. On one hand, I found out that I was not chosen for national service *hallelujah* but then I am also worrying about whether to drop a subject and also about my university application.
Almost everyone I have been talking too keeps telling me to keep all four subjects, seeing that I got straight As. But why give me more work when I only need three A levels for uni? I may be good at them but I am also lazy………yes, it’s true, I do prefer going on the internet searching for anime stuff etc etc rather than doing my homework, which is most often boring. Many of the other students are keeping all four subjects anyway, eventhough results weren’t so good…………*sigh* the people at school are so hardworking. Isn’t it warped when A type students want to drop subjects but others want to keep them? I will never understand………..and also the Year 12s are working hard, and getting to class early…….. I think our sixth form head had been lecturing them to be better than us…….last year we were lectured to be better than the past year 13s…….the cycle continues……….
So things are at a standstill…………….work, work, work…………
Oh, I think I have another crush…………*swirls*……one of the Year 12s. I noticed him………yes, it’s a him………last year, I think he was a prefect….but now he’s moved up………..you know, guys in proper shirts with long sleeves and long trousers look good……………and he’s tall, a little geeky looking, seems studious, very nice in blue…………………..*chuckle*, oh and he wears glasses……..*swoons*
*sigh*……… I am in an emotional roller coaster ride. Someone whom I was close with last year had another ‘talk’ with me……….. I kindda uh……..broke up with the person, and it didn’t really stick in with the person…………………. Making me feel really guilty……….what am I to do when the feeling is gone? If I kept at it, it would be a lie wouldn’t it? Better to part and still be friends. Although if the current situation continues with the emotional blackmail, I think I would burst……*double sigh* I think I would have been better off being single………and float around……….keep my crushes to myself?...................loneliness is a rather safe thing……lonely, but not emotional……..unless the tears start………………..
I found out that dad is actually quite spontaneous. One time, like a few weeks ago, he actually just got up (he was in Paris because he works there) and took a plane to the south of France for a holiday. Just like that. His holiday was just a respite during the weekends, and he went back to work on Monday but still……very spontaneous………..
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 8:49 PM
Monday, September 06, 2004
Today was the first day of school of year 13!!
And it did not start of with cherubs singing and and friends running into each other's arms..........*sniff*........first of all, even though I woke up early, we were still late.......the we refers to me, my grandmother and driver, packed in the car and stuck in a traffic jam....horrible.....
so we arrive after much haggling through the traffic, and instead of dropping me off infront of the gate, we stopped before the school to get me running down the ramp to the gate into the secondary block....................oooooohhhhhh, not a good idea........heavy bag, heavy file and me running....*ouch*...........does it need to be said that on the way up the stairs i sropped my bag like down a few steps...........a few steps is still a big deal because it could have fallen down the entire flight..........but before that, I burst into the common room, clearly late...and seeing that there were people there, I thought I would enter charmingly and plomp down on a seat while smiling...........no.......uh uh................those people were the Year 12s................not my group.........could I possibly have dies from embarassment I don't know because I rushed out and up the stairs..................resulting in the bag falling incident...........*sigh*
No one in my old class, no one in the previous Yr 13 class......................so lost............but a kind enough teacher pointed me the right way, the Yr 13 of my group were on the way in N1 section...which is in the primary section up more flights of stairs...............I thought I was going to die................*more sighs*
But then I arrived safely enough albeit without breathe.....but what did you expect........*shrugs*.................so starts my first day...
It had been good.......met all the old friends, chatted, got timetable (yes! I get to go home early on Monday and Friday!! Payback time to Su-su!!) *cackle*
And the library got brand new flat screen computers! Great thing....................
Unfortunately the current Yr 12s are swarming all over us........I know we should welcome them with open arms but still............we were here first!! There's 43 of them!! and they took my locker!!!!! *grrrr*
So first day was good..........................*raise eyebrow*.......more or less.......................
Oh yeah, Yi ling sama finished my layout and ta daa!! well ta daa once I figure out how to put it up......................hehehee............just wait a while...............
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 4:38 PM
Thursday, September 02, 2004
I got my hair cut today, it was getting abit long.............and now it looks.......it looks.........more or less the same....................
still, I'm happy enough......so that's ok..............
worse thing, my sixth form tutor finally got back to me about my personal statement, and the words he used..........in more or less of the order of 'it sucks'.....................the english is poor, sentence construction is terrible, the arguments incoherent............................
I am so happy.............(note the sarcasm)
My cousin who went to Oxford didn't say anything that bad........he said he liked it..................nothing in the line of bad english.................
I think I'm going to go die now..........or just slump in bed..............
I'm depressed...............*wallows*
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 9:52 PM
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
Gomene for not updating the last few days..........................the stupid computer is acting up on me and I swear if I could, I'll kill the darn thing........internet is going haywire too..........*sigh*.................I actually finished coloring in some of my drawings that I had done, but because of the constant hangups and weird stuff with the pc, I couldn't upload the new drawings into imageshack.............so by this time I have actually finished a few more drawings. Cool looking too...... ^.^............... I just finished a drawing of a girl in a uh..........non-too-modest position, but then I'm trying for a new look with body shapes, you know like those of Chobits..........
Today, went shopping and got some new books *hurray*..................dream day, but book shopping is tiring!!! Lugging around three bags of heavy books from Kinokuniya is like weight lifting in the Olympics................*whoosh*
Right now I'm sitting in front of a low rise table, and there's some acid action going on in my tummy...........think I'm getting gastric pain again................
Anyway..................on Sunday I finally finished seeing Stand Up!! The comedy with Nino *points below* my dear beloved................................*swoons*............he plays a 17 yr old student who is still a virgin, and with his friends wish to *cough* have an adventure in their summer holidays..........................it's cool, and funny.................and it ended as expected, they were still virgins! But Shohei (nino's character) found love in his friend Chie...................and the comedy is actually quite serious in the end cause we find out that Chie actually got raped by this student in her school, and that's why she ran away from home, to where Shohei and his friends were....................................*sniff*............*is very touched*...........happy endings are so cool............
Anyhow, if anyone knows of a good image hoster (free please) please contact me.............imageshack is nice and all, but its registration and user thingy is not really easy is seem to be causing my hangups................
Also got a few new stuff to write, but I want to go look for some walls...hehehe......................oh yeah, did I say? Today, got a new anime illustration book, one by Aoi Nanase......mostly Angel Dust Neo drawings and it's very nice.............*dreams*...............................
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 11:07 PM
