Sunday, January 09, 2005
During my holiday in Bali, which was missed by the tsunami, I had a dream………..
It was night………darkness……and a pounding suffocating fear………I couldn’t breathe, and I don’t know why I’m afraid…………I was seated in a car and looking out into what looked like a countryside waiting to pick up my grandmother………still the fear gripped me…………………why……………I remembered I argued about something…………all of a sudden lights, a bus coming and I automatically ducked to avoid being seen……..why…………there was a rumor in these parts…….why………………fear, I feel like it won’t stop, and I don’t know why………………….the bus passed, I cautiously looked up again…………………..all this while, thoughts muddled through my head, empty thoughts, unknown thoughts……..shuffling………….someone was coming……….more forms, more feet……..a group of people……………..without a single indication it was without a singular doubt that we had to get out, we had to run, we had to get away………….we started the car and rammed the engine….we are trying to get away….all the time the shuffling, the fear, the pounding, in my mind’s eye I see four, five forms…humans, lumpy coming behind, chasing……..chasing slow and we kept going but we can’t get away……….hurry, hurry, hurry, the fear kept coming, the silent screams, please let us get away………………….
Darkness…………………………………
I knew we had died………………
The dream kept going and unraveled itself as a story…………..four, five mentally disturbed and physically challenged persons, all female it seems although it was difficult to see were being helped at a converted farm………. I remember the argument now, in my dream we were chiding why grandma went to help out the farm………………..but then the fear gripped………………it was them, them who go and start their brutal acts………………….fear gripped the countryside……………..in my mind’s eye I see the farm, I see the people, a few, two men and a women arguing……………….we have to escape, we have to get out…………..the scenary changes, we are faced with a narrow load besides a cliff which is surrounded by water on either side and we quietly drop into the water………we must not be seen……..cannot be caught…………..and fear gripped………………..they are returning, those abominations! The people in the farm are arguing, one is accusing the others of sanctioning murders………..they are returning! We must get away, hurry……under the water…………..they are slowly shuffling…..along the road, in one single like towards, back to the farm………….all of a sudden, a shovel slammed into the head of the one who was arguing, he dropped lifeless to the floor……………….the order of life must prevailed……no one must know the truth………………the four, five lumbering mass returned, shuffling back……………the man and woman cowered in fear…………..they are the ones not in control, but pawns of those abominations…….they are not the ones giving the orders or forcing those seen as inept to do their bidding, but they are the ones who are forced to live under the control of the brutal inhumans………………….we clambered onto land making our way to the nearest town……we must get away………….we got a car and drove………we must go as far as possible…………….an opposite car came past…………a girl laid frighten in the back…………a man drove in the front………….they are going to the farm……………………………………………..
It was one of those complete dreams I have………………..full story, often with people I know……..like dad besides me, and grandma…………………the images are clear, the feelings hammering in me like I was experiencing it……the mind clear and awake…………………..awake in dream…………………….. I was terrified, and woke up with open eyes, my whole body unmoving…………………………
I don’t know what it means………..usually there is a meaning…………….or a coming prophecy…………huh, most of my dreams come true………………….most of them are nightmares………………..
I think in this case it was an indication of what I fear most…………………fear……………………….. I was gripped so strongly with the overpowering fear that I couldn’t do anything……………but what I was afraid was that I couldn’t do anything…………I couldn’t fight back……. I couldn’t stop it……………………
That is my fear…………….to be unable to do anything…………………..useless………powerless……………………. I couldn’t do anything………………………………….
All this while, waves of tsunami crashed upon the shores of devastated nations facing the unknown wrath of mother nature……….and they couldn’t
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 3:01 AM
