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Monday, April 13, 2009

I go through life always feeling unwanted.
And in the course of it always destroying every possible relationship.

My mother is always so unhappy, in no uncertain terms I've ruined her life and the only way she could be contented was to leave.
My grandmother spent so so much time dedicating herself to raising her kid's child...and in so doing she neglects herself.
And everyday with my father we grow apart, little in common and more difference to breach.

And then I feel I'm never important enough to keep, the outsider and the third wheel. So afraid to allow others be important because everytime it's so disappointing.

I wake up everyday, wanting to die. And so afraid because it's true. So prominent. So definitive. I can't breathe, and when she's gone, I won't have to.

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Abandonment issues. Seriously.

Mused by Sukunami Taka around 8:41 PM

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