Friday, March 31, 2006
The problem with me is that I don't realise. Or...I do realise but I don't care. Rather not because I don't care about it but rather I don't care enough to care about myself.
Today is officially crash day. Total depression. Finally it hits, I can cry and go blah, life sucks.
It started since law tute. Seated in class...finally spoke...and then *ignore*
TT.....wah, so depressing. So blah...so bleh...so....
We were given a problem.....we as lawyers are to advice our client on proper action according to statutory law.
My team members apparently gave up based on the word 'may' which suggests discretion on the part of the officials but I'm arguing that the reason for disallowing permit was not on valid grounds, that it wasn't part of requirement but merely the opinion of the official. Thus that gives ground for bringing action. They took one look at me and said...'but theres the word may...'
*sweatdrops*
I tried explaining a few times and then promptly shut up...
Walked to library to search for the bibliographied books I 'needed' for history essay, realised they were all 2 hr loans...spent 30 bucks photocopying chapters of some of the books, lugged them back...at the back of my mind I'm thinking...I don't have all the information I need......
Go club....outsider....outsider....outsider......
Don't understand their engineering....don't understand their computer science....don't fit into their group...
I don't make friends well....I'm a very unapproachable person....and stupid...and idiotic....and stupid....
Also very depressing. People don't realise the sadness is constantly there, it doesn't flare up unexpectedly but rather the glimmering happiness shuts down and you see bleak reality.
There's not much purpose for you in life, not much to human action. Besides to procreate?
Everything shuts down and you're reminded that life is filled with insecurities.
Today, I just felt...no need to care, no need to bother...and promptly cried as I reached my bedroom desk and freaked my roommate out.
I needed to be alone, needed to get away.
This is me....sensitive, filled with insecurities and liable to state that nothing matters much in life for reality is of perception.
But I don't want to believe in that, with no trust in human kind, but I know I'm thinking of it so just....
Dilshan said...the most important thing in his life was himself, the one thing he cannot lose is himself....and if he does, he'll feel lonely. First realisation was that it was a rather selfish approach to life. Second realisation was...I understood him. For in the end all that is left is yourself and your thoughts.
No matter how much human beings like to think that the concepts of friendship and love exists, it is nothing more than to convince themselves of the nobility of their actions for treating some people better than others. But friends would never understand how you feel eventhough they understand what you say, they'll never feel your feelings and emotions no matter how transparent you are, they'll never be you because they aren't you. They can like you, they can care for you, they can be with you, some less, some more, but still they'll never realise what you are thinking. It's bleak, it's lonely, but true.
All there is, is yourself, your thoughts, your mind. Some cannot handle this and tried to surround themselves with friends, some convinces themselves they need others to be happy, some are content to be with themselves, and others realise...it will always be just them, with their thoughts, however dark and depressing, if you lose it, you lose everything....and however much you can regret it, you're scared to let it go.
Thus it is just bleak thoughts and the acceptance of absolute unhappiness and transcient happiness.
I don't remember what I told Paul today but I'm sure it's along the lines of some depressing theory of life and he disagreed with it. He found it rather uncomfortable to believe and I guess it's because it makes human actions seem so shallow, so without purpose. Rather depressing, but really...there is no nobility, no selflessness.
He also asked what I thought about Dilshan....a few times now and those few times I've shrugged and made some non commital reply because I'm not sure how to voice it.
And because of that, it confuses me and makes my actions irrational and I know they are irrational and am aware why I'm irrational, it doesn't prevent me feeling confused anyway.
I like Dilshan...at the very least I like him as a person and as a 'friend' (in inverted commas due to my lack of faith in the concept of 'friendship' as mentioned above), and I admire him...massively.
Before, at around the time I've met Derek, people have been telling me about the Melbourne go club and that Sigh and Dango were there. I've noticed Sigh around as an assisant and possibly chatted with him once when he helped me with a comp problem. Then when I was to come to the university of melbourne, it became you have to meet Sigh and Dango.
I'm sure I've freaked Sigh out through several KGS pms...I can be quite cheerful and random on KGS....he on the other hand was quite distant or can be so...being the assistant role I guess. Once he logged in through another account and I didn't know and we got to chatting and really, it was nice. When I found out it was him, I was pleasantly surprised to see that he can be friendly.
First time meeting Dilshan was during O week....awkward at first...he was rather busy and passed me onto another player...but already there's this expectation...he was Sigh after all, he's in the go club and one person I 'know' that wasn't through Derek.
I'm not sure of what I thought of him.....I knew he was a strong go player...he can be ruthless on the board, but he's an amazing teacher and at explaining concepts of go, patient and restless in a way.
His voice conveys a strength, really level calm direct, yet also anticipation of wanting more and being unsure why the other person is being clueless. Dilshan tend to move around alot, the only time he is still is when he is standing ontop of a chair or a table, curled up in a position or laid out flat. The rest of the time he wanders or he jumps, or he pays attention to other games.
He can quite silly, with a type of response you will see of a child, he would rather hurt you by poking back and drawing on you, grabbing your hand or your leg, physically he is strong, and though Paul says if you make it clear it hurts, he'll let go, I'm not sure Dilshan realises it does hurt.
He has a tendency to stare at you, observing. Derek here makes the connection that Dilshan appraises people first before he talks to them. He would be quiet first and see if he can get the gist of who the people are and then start talking.
He shrugs alot...indecisive, with really no preference for anything. Rather would do nothing than do something.
In a group of people, he'll ignore me...but if we are alone...I feel he is paying attention and he does speak. There was a pleasantness there and he looks at you, just smiling.
He would find the simplest things amazingly funny...like words in a legal dictionary, or the fact that I haven't see a particular nut before.
He can be seen as quite selfish, into his own world....emotionally distant perhaps or just unsure of how to handle a situation he hasn't been in....
Tremendously smart, tremendously creative, a sort of obnoxious, he'll know everything yet says he doesn't, say's that he is uncreative or stupid...
He has vulnerability in his expression....
On a romantic level....I feel I'm attracted to him. Not sure why, as my head is saying somehow I would never become a priority to him even if he was interested.
He's complex, and he confuses me....
Derek says....it would be better if we had things in common, common interests perhaps...but he doesn't show he has a preference for anything and he does eng/com sci which is basically the opposite of law/arts. But he likes go...he likes anime..he likes to read books. I just don't know if he likes me.....sometimes I feel as if I'm annoying him, sometimes that I'm insignificant, sometimes as if I was there yeah, but just a momentary distraction. Then there are times when I would look into his eyes or his hand would touch mine and ......well......it's definitely nice....
It frustrates me that I can't talk to him as much as I want to....
And right now....all this homesickness, these feelings of being lost and misplaced, of not fitting in, of not being part of the group, the feelings that I don't want to be at college, that I can't handle my subjects, that I just want to curl up or go see Derek or someone I can cry to.....it's overwhelming. It's scary.....and I need someone who can hold me.
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 11:37 PM
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
This was said by Yahoo san in TOG room.
I have no idea why...but it's funny.
So updates since my last post.
1) people should stop making political judgements before being informed of alternatives.
2) blah, stop arguing with me.
So much worrrrk. I feel I'm overwhelmed, curse uni.
But...finally finished the case skills assignment and handed it in after an hour of figuring out how to.
Also became prime proscratinator. Guess what I did after telling myself to work on saturday for the 500 word Philosophy essay on Utilitarian support for use of torture for interrogation of suspects...?
Karaoke! *dances*
yeah...I know. Pathetic....but yeah.
It was karaoke saturday with the gang and a few more. Skirked work all day, went to Rayner's, watched in horror at his weird video...went for dinner, felt horribly isolated in presence of people who spoke mandarin all through only to meet a night of mandarin songs...
*shudders*
So funny lah these people...singing in such voices....
Mmm beer.....songs, fun, cake, people smiling.
I felt strangely comfortable even though there was cigarette smoke and a roomful of beer and half drunk people but it was like.....friends.
I think...it's not so much the situation which I feared but more the company....and I'm perfectly ok with being at a bar if I'm with people who I like....
Then spent the night at Rayner's. His shower rocks. Better and cleaner than Derek's. Also nice bed too. See how deprived I am of normal comforts at this college....
Finally finished Philosophy essay on monday, two late nights in a row...but see! I did it. Including citations. I'm proud of myself.
Derek sent a song- Sway by Bic Runga. It's mellow and lovely....
History 1,500 words essay due 4th april...I'm screwed second time...
Oh yes, photos from birthday and karaoke night available if you pm me.
Kageyama in his 'Fundamentals' is so funny. Highly recommend the book for go players.
Bah humbug....just because I can.
I'm running out of food. Also got a cough. And an ulcer.
Found a shop in unionhouse which sells sandwiches.
Lauren lent me saiyuki reload vcds *yay*
The mac is able to download GOBAN, a program to play against gnugo on computer....excellent!
In Dilshan's and Paul's eng lecture, met Tim and Luke....very..very weird....do stay away.
Went for pancaked with Dilshan and Paul and Shirley and Lauren......who I may have mentioned, do miao....but they are anime fans so lovely ^^
also Sigh finally agreed to go watch Honey and Clover, the show is random sweet. And I recommend His and Her Circumstances too.
Did I mention I'm getting a cough?
Mah....Dilshan....
Today I had a moot competition practice round. The opposing counsel didn't show up because one of them of sick so Shumin and I basically presented the submission of the respondent. The judge said we needed structure but overall it was good and we answered well ^^. YAY...so heart palpitating....
Do we have free press?
I'm cold...and don't remember much things...
We love you poppabear....
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 6:43 PM
Friday, March 24, 2006
The human desire sickens
As with each leaf removed
The roots wither and wash away
Human compassion lacks faith
Society crumbles, slides away to degeneration
These are words often said, often misunderstood
Wherein once a brother can be brother
A sister, a mother, father and child
Now they frankly uncare, of the boy called as enemy combatant
The thoughts are jumbled, static clear
Society mirrors a fog, as politicians lie and media corrupts
Accused of apathy, we sit here and stare, are we any better
Are you my enemy
You from across the street
Across my season borders, you my child, my living whim
The human desire weakens
As with each branch removed
The roots turn to ash, burnt from conditions spiraling into abyss
Compassion is removed from subjectivity
It is cold hard blank, a disk within network
Eating into tendrils like a vermined disease
With a spat, does your heart lightened
As green pass into your hands
Is your night so free of thoughts as you watch them hurl them away
Is it worth so much
Do you know their names
As long as they are not you, does it matter as much
Living child, I watched as your bones turn grey
Your hands slim and slender as the bars across your face
Living child, because of many miles, I'm calling you one of them
I no longer care you do not speak
Nor of the voices clamoring deep within
Silence is washable, as are my hands deeply red
We are not the ones strapped with explosives
We are not the ones holding knives
We are not the ones choking you with your eyes blinded
Thus delusion works firmly with beliefs
To tell the truth, ignorance is bliss
Surely that is all truth for it is better we are not plagued by self doubt
So much confusion, violations galore
Simple words, held with much conviction
Hear the anger tempering beneath?
The world sickens
Pathetically crude
They no longer care, so why should we.
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 12:31 AM
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Song by Savage Garden.
I believe the sun should never set upon an argument
I believe we place our happiness in other people's hands
I believe that junk food tastes so good because it's bad for you
I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do
I believe that beauty magazines promote low self-esteem
I believe I'm loved when I'm completely by myself alone
I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye
I believe you can't control or choose your sexuality
I believe that trust is more important than monogamy
I believe your most attractive features are your heart and soul
I believe that family is worth more than money or gold
I believe the struggle for financial freedom is unfair
I believe the only ones who disagree are millionaires
I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye
I believe forgiveness is the key to your unhappiness
I believe that wedded bliss negates the need to be undressed
I believe that God does not endorse TV evangelists
I believe in love surviving death into eternity
I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 11:50 PM
Yesterday we randomly called people to wish them sweet dreams and good night.
Cheers go towards Pauly who answered the phone with such suave and calmness, it seems he gets random phone calls at night quite often.
Franny, Alice and Matthew on the other hand, sounded quite freaked out. All who picked up the phone received a drawing present slipped in under their doors before dinner today.
I also got well....dumped, two days ago. Ah,...the sadness of unrecipricol cold love....
Realised tho....I really do prefer a guy who will prefer going for hot chocolate with me than going to the pub on friday night....
I don't appreciate my friends enough...
It's really cold here. A bowl of hot vietnamese noodle soup would be great.
St. Patrick's day today. Vanessa, Natalie, Ann, Connie and me went to Max Brenner's for hot chocolate. Yummy.
Before dinner, was with Paul, Sigh and Nolin. Go club was good. Won against 9k without handi, and against 2/3k with 6 handi.
Workscheme is tiring. And I can't mop to save my life.
Standing at the foot of my bed, saying 'wake up' isn't going to wake me up. So demonstrated when I missed PPL tutorial by rolling over and sleeping.
I need someone who is willing to drag me off the bed.
Sigh is just too darn strong.
He also has fascination for rubicks cubes...thingy...
I wish to have a date.....proper date......new resolution.....wait for a guy to actually ask....yup =)
Need to wash hair...
I realised....with absolute truth....I would trust Derek with my life.
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 12:27 AM
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
It is now fourth week of semester. I've been very lazy and technically woke up late several times and ran to class. Missed couple of lectures. Cannot keep up with reading. Feeling like a moron. That shyness I've had and which I thought I could overcome evidently is not being overcomed, instead it is taking over.
Sigh....what a complete wuss. I said I would be stronger, make new friends. There's nothing strangely wrong with my personality. After all, if I'm able to make friends on KGS and Gaia, it shows that people can like me. Oh that reminds me.
Introductions:- Poppa bear aka Morpheus aka Jimmyjimbearysan
He's the room owner of the Temple of Go and has a very philosophical approach to go. Lovely person =).
Chubbles and Adammy are regulars in the room too.
Badog doggie san is a old regular come back to Kirisu's room.
Overall, KGS is becoming a nicer place.
Also introducing Louis Emile Des Landes, who lives two doors down from my shared room. He's sweet and we've been getting close =)
*shiawase*
And he has the clearest blue green eyes and he says meh in a very cute way....
Moving on....
Assignments have been given out, I now got a ton of work aside from reading to be completed in either two weeks or a month and I haven't even looked at the assessment materials.
Shumin and I have decided to join the undergraduate moot debate arranged by the Law Students Society. *Nervous, scared and what the heck have I agreed to....*
Have I mentioned that Dango san has very mellow taste in music? Rather nice...mmmm
And Sigh spent the entirety of his engineering lecture trying to draw on me while I'm playing on Paul's PSP (Tale of Eternia no less). He succeeded, since I was preoccupied and Luke, the guy next to him found this to be the most interesting lecture ever........
Not to mention Derek's photoshop doesn't work......
He has now gone back to Malaysia for his cousin's wedding.
Steph has graduated *yay* and now officially a PhD student, I guess.....wah, so cool.......I wanna see photos of the big gowny thingy....
Major interlude- Poker Night.
This took place on Saturday, we crashed Rayner's place, the usual were there.
Derek, Steph, Kenny and Kenneth, Eepin. There were others but I didn't really know them.....gomen gomen, I'll learn your names later ah...
Suffice to say, 15 mins poker tutorial later, I was bluffing like a pro *cackle*
Ok...my bluffs always falls through but the best was when I beat rayner with a....a....flush? something one card higher than his cards and he betted nearly all of his chips. Man.....excellente.
I did that twice in a night I think. Good Night. Lovely. Muahahaha......
Derek ended up the one with quite major lot of chips.....Chong family cannot gamble....my foot......
Derek's cousin walked me home since he lives even further away. His card tricks are rather impressive.
And attempting to trade Eepin's Mp3 player for Rayner's jacket didn't work.
That's it I guess.....for now.
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 9:11 PM
Literally- seminar, workscheme, seminar, missed dinner, stay in room and sulk, walked to hotel, spend time in Victoria Night Market.
Worst Birthday ever.
A total of perhaps five people remembered- mother and grandmother, dad, Derek and Steph, and Connie? But she remembered during lunch as I slaved away cleaning tables and then Ann overheard and said oh, happy birthday!
-.-
Worst birthday, ever.
Ai.....well, thoughts which counts anyway.......the dear friends on KGS remembered a little....and on Gaia. Luffles.
But....a couple of presents would have been nice.......reminding Dad he owed me a tablet for christmas doesn't count as a birthday present.......
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 8:57 PM
Saturday, March 04, 2006
The member from the Socialist Alternative Party rang me up for the second time. Halfway through deciding whether his persistence is a good thing or not. Atleast though I can be pretty sure that the first phone call we had didn't completely convince him that I was an idiot....that's a good thing?
I mentioned it to a friend, someone who is in the American army, and have been in the Iraq war that I was interested in the protest "troops out of Iraq" and he asked, why protest against something I knew nothing about.
It's with an afterthought that a question arose....what makes a soldier in a war know more or even anything about the way and situation he/she is fighting in?
Hmm.
However....he got angry. Stated that I had a negative view of America without ever being on American soil and that I should grow up and get some life experience.
I think it was the question I asked which prompted the anger....I asked, has he ever met Saddam Hussein. This is the preampt towards my point that everyone have a perception towards something without ever knowing or meeting the subjet in question.
The media, our own research, influence from parents, teachers and friends seek to shape our perception of ideas in the world and political perception is just the same.
Doesn't make it right or wrong, but people are allowed for their own conclusions. But some are more right than others....and here I speak of the famous words by Orwell shaping the gist of the communist regime in Russia.
I think....just like in history, there are general truths although there's always leeway for the argument of the opposite. Like...Hitler's holocaust would be deemed a horror, but some may say that his rise to power brought much wanted strength to Germany. Generally though, the public will say such a thing must never happen again....yes?
Political truth....wow, an oxymoron? Perhaps.
I would say though, American unilateral decision to invade Iraq under the pretense of nuclear war threat which in reality is another phase of their war on terror, is something that has show that American power in today's society has now breached the sovereignty of another's nation.
And now the Iraq war is taunted as the child of the Vietnam war.
A complete mess, its political structure going to pieces, hundreds dead and more dying as insurgents continue their campaign.
The American government once again does not realise the implications of their interference and or choose to ignore it.
Even putting aside the abuse that went on in the prisons, we are now facing the very real reality that there is literally nothing anyone else can do, or is willing to do. American being the largest socio-economic power in the world is being depended upon by other lesser countries for trade and aid. It would do them good to realise those aid is not coming without attachments.
Even if a world embargo ensues, either the world structure collapse, or it'll last a week and stop.
=/
I respect the idea that he willingly dons a uniform and fights for his country. I even respect that he trusts in the liberal ideals that exists in America.
But I refuse to believe the war in Iraq in justified on the basis that America should fight back because it was attacked.
Violence isn't an answer. It perpetuates the idea that it solves problems, but in reality it excerberates differences and causes more hostility.
We see it through history and again, it's not learnt. The constant terrorism between Israel and Palestine has sustained a near to 60 year pathway of blood.
The mindless abductions and bombings by various groups whether in the middle east or in Russia and elsewhere, has done nothing but gain people's enmity towards the causes of these 'freedom'/terrorist groups as well as death and massacre.
War and violence. Creates more war and violence.
So just because I haven't been on a battlefield, just because I'm not firsthand to view events doesn't mean I can't form an opinion. Of course, it is often useless and sometimes dangerous to form opinions without due cause, but I trust that somehow through my studies, I would have had cultivated a highly critical mind.
You know...I will join the meeting on Wednsday and see what it is about.
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 11:25 PM
Thursday, March 02, 2006
~O-week in Melbourne~
*begins phantom of the opera music*
Day 0
Bag net weight:- 60kg
Bag *I suppose I can fit in a few more stuff* weight:- 100kg?
*Silence*
*Mother muttering about exorbitant prices for extra weight into flight*
*Unpacks for the third time* *Be aware that this will result in 5 days later realization that I cannot find my slippers, shorts or underwear*
Bag net weight before leaving for airport:- 29kg
*Allows for time to squeeze in a few more things*
So here I am. Packed, ready to leave, ready to say goodbye to my room, my stuff and my friends....*thinks*
Sighie.....goodbye to life as I knew it. Hello Melbourne.
Bags are waaaaay toooo heavy. The plane was packed. Totally. In the economy class anyway. There were exactly six free seats in First class, and 1 in Business class. I am not happy.
The girl next to me will be studying Architecture 1 year at Unimelb. My bag is now flying first class due to lack of space.
No sleep. Bad food.
Line to bathroom too long.
Day Limbo (15th Feb to 19th Feb)
Ah the life of a college student. Isn't it bliss. No schedules, no when how if or but, just wake up when you will, eat lunch at 6 pm, go for icecream as dinner, randomly slouch around the room and be on the internet.
I arrived early, and was sleepily dragged around Melbourne by Steph and Derek. I have now forgotten why or what......were we searching for food?
Anyways Derek's apartment is smaaaaal. Tiny and very cluttered and the bed practically took up the whole space. We were crawling over the bed to get from one side to the another. Sufficient to say.....I'm never sleeping there again. And he has a peace treaty with the thing growing in his bathroom. It's slightly brown, slightly green and.......well.......icky. Took me the whole day of whingeing before he finally took toilet duck to it and started scrubbing. Thus war has begun.
Sometime in the middle of all this, we also went to watch Memoirs of a Geisha. Fun fun. Though, definitely not japanese. I find it peculiar that after all the emphasis on womanly dignity and poise, the climax of the movie was Zhang Ziyi dancing like a mad ghost version of Gong Li.
Day 1- Moving In, Drenching the cows, Dad I want to go home speech.
Repacked everything, oh by the way we got the new comforters, doona, pillow and bedsheets. Blue! and White....wheeee, my first time shopping for bedsheets.
Anyways.
In the taxi, fetched dad who got bad flight, over 20 hours! Muahahaha, and 3 hours stop in Malaysia.
And tadaa, we arrived at my new home for the next year. Already there are people dragging suitcases through the front gate and people dressed in the college colors welcoming them and helping with the luggage. Thus we met Rob and Ken who um...single handedly maneuvered several of my luggage into a....double room.
D...ouble? ><
And up two flights of stairs. Not happy. Double room?? Shared bathroom with the whole floor??
Damn it.
And my roommate is in science. She's ok I guess -.-.
Sigh.
Lunch, hanging around, freshers go get dress.
Huh? We couldn't find my slippers and the moment of lateness allowed us to see the others being herded together and thrown stuff at. o.0. Then we were blindfolded, told to crawl and felt wet stuff dripping on us, and wet stuff beneath us, and icky stuff, and jam in our hair and crawling through peaches and juice and hands through yucky stuff and apparently vegemite on our faces and sliding down a wet slide thingy and herded behind the bars and thrown water at and taken photos of.
This was the drenching, we were the cows. No wonder the Dean said firstly we didn't have to do it! BLAH.
Wet, tired, cold and very dirty, into the bathroom, out of clothes, into new ones. By the way those clothes are now washed but my favourite bra has weird red stains in it.......
They taught us the Cowboy and Indian dance as well as the St mary's chant.
This is our flag,
It's a high flying flag,
It's the emblem for you and for me,
AND FOR ME,
Something something something...
I cant remember...
Umm....
AND THE BLUE....
Something something,
Should all acquaintances be forgot,
Always remember the red and the blue,
Walking round the crescent with a beer in my hand,
Saying something something,
S
S!
T
T!
Full stop
Full stop!
M
M!
A
A!
R
R!
Y
Y!
A-pos-trophe
A-pos-trophe!
S
S!
What's that spell?
St Mary's
We can't hear you!
St Mary's!
Newman can't hear you!
St Mary's!
Well, something to that effect. As you can see, their brainwashing hasn't been all that effective.
Dinner with dad, Derek and Steph. Sooo tired and then first night at St. Mary's......bad night, and then they woke us at 7 ><
Day 2- the maybe this is ok day
Derek was right! He was actually RIGHT.
Eventhough it was stated a late sleep-in on the orientation sheet, they came banging and clanging pots and pans at 7 in the morning, and dragged us to the courtyard. And of course garbage bags for those who changed out of their pyjamas. ><
Into a track run around the college, I was struck by asthma and collapsed by the side of the road. Atleast...they nicely apologised and sent me back to my room. Little did I know that this will be the start of many uses of my inhaler again. Damn it and the asthma was better last year!
Back in the room was when the fun begun. Couple of the o-weekers came in with buckets of water with the intention of pouring it out of the window onto the freshers who would be taking their photos directly below. Thus we waited in anticipation and boom. Freshers + water= wet freshers.
And I was behind the scenes laughing with the o-weekers. It was fun when it wasn't me who got rained on ^^. And it was nice talking to them too.
Today was the first day in uni though. What was it that I did.....hmmm.......I think....I went for an arts welcoming orientation....yeah....but...that doesn't seem right because Derek was with me.....hmmm, I could have been at the Law welcoming orientation....and then enrolled? That....makes a little bit more sense I think....o.0
There was a few periods of time when I was in and out of uni and with dad. Missed alot of the college orientation but seriously didn't mind cos the o weekers got the freshers to do alot of weird things. But I guess....it's rather hard to make friends if I just kept to myself......
and everything feels a little forced. Like it's hard to talk to the others, especially Australians and art/law people or even people in my 'powwow' group (our leader was Franny, the cutest tiniest guy ever. You get this overwhelming urge to cuddle him and pat his head, but of course that would be weird....*cough*ahem*cough*)
But they do go drinking alot and I just won't feel comfortable being off on the side. So I don't really know.......on one hand, I regret not getting to know them better, on the other it's better if I found my own friends instead of trying to with them.
Day 3- we are doing this again?
I can't even remember what I did this day. Washed my hair? Saw a movie? Went to Victoria night market? Ugh....what a memory.
If I did any of those things....
the movie was bad. Really just slapstick kindda making fun of everything.
Washing my hair....well, atleast I am clean. Although the showers here are weak and I always feel less clean coming out than going in.
Victoria Night Market, got a headache, really packed and stuff too expensive and basically went back with a very bad mood because my feet hurt, my back hurts, my head hurts....
Whinewhinewhinewhine
Day....um...until the end of the week cos I can't even remember anymore
We also visited the beach I remembered, there was a barbecue one day and that day everyone came back drunk, drank during dinner and went out to drink somemore. There was a really bad movie on Friday called Napoleon Dynamite. There was um....days in uni, days in college. I seem to be missing the dinners alot as well as lunch.....and well, breakfast....>>
not my fault!!
Then mother and grandma arrived on saturday, dad went back on sunday and thus begins another week.
Sigh................
Oh yeah, clubs and societies. I MET SIGH. I MET...sorta, DANGOMOUSE. I totally lost by like 40 points to Sigh who wasn't even concentrating and half the time explaining things to other people and gave me six handi -.-.
Dango David san came, took one look and said black should resign and promptly got blasted by his girlfriend for being mean to me ^^.
I'm also now in the um.....anime society, flare dance ensemble (but jazz class is like packed with people and seriously have no idea what I'm doing anymore....), roleplayer society and the ever popular Socialist Alternative Party. One of their members, Liam, called me up one cheery afternoon and totally threw me off. I must have sounded like a total ditz to him.
Anyways.
Also oh yeah. The toga turn party thingy. That was fun. I really like to dance. Their music wasn't really dance music but it was fun with people just moving around. Well yeah...
O week finished, and next week begins lectures and seminars (at the point of writing, I've already attended several and is actually nearing the end of week one of actual uni and finding that I can't really cope)
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 11:28 PM
