Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Popped over to the Crown to watch Sin City with nichan and his friends. I've got one word----> intense violence. That's one word because the violence was really that intense. As in every second frame someone was punching someone, or killing someone,or torturing someone or blood was spilt everywhere in paint splashing form.
Abound with sex, there was atleast two naked women in there, and several prostitutes in charge of Old Town (actually that part was pretty cool, there was even a female samurai called Miho who basically takes the guy's head off in smooth whacks with samurai swords..............
I think all that violence has set nausea in. Either that or it's gastric..............
Or that I haven't received enough sleep and it's totally whacking me out of tune. Whatever it is, I'm feeling............really bad right now............
Good news on the other side, I won a game against a 14k? Shows I'm not so bad after all...............
But everything's got me thinking. Was watching Hikaru no go, and Episode fifty something, after Sai's disappearance, Hikaru in his grief decided not to play go anymore because he regretted not letting Sai play all the time and show the go god that Sai is. For me, with the lack of Sai, seeing 9d games and moves such as those K kun makes, which seems random to me and proves to be useful because they do such amazing reading, it's awe inspiring. And leaves me to think...........I can never do those moves. Players of similar level as I am are also able to execute moves such as an invasion between my stones and I am unable to counter and neither am I able to cut their stones. I technically have no idea what I'm doing when I play. I am not that conscious when a go game starts, rather I make a move as my opponent makes a move. It's rather like when I have a dance performance, I move naturally without having to think of the moves. In go however, it's frustrating because I feel I'm playing idiotically when all the great players does deep reading. On one occasion during a chat with K kun as he played, I was relaying news that the other watchers think K kun's group is dead, and he replied that he can do deeper reading and ended up pushing his opponent and saving his group. Nothing more can make me feel even more inadequate.
So I decided to take a sabbatical from go. I'm using my Muarw account and just watching games and occasionally playing without a rank. The one with the 14kyu? today was interesting. After an accidental starting move from me at E16, I decided to give it up and play 'like a dan'. That is made up of random moves with occasional reasons behind them. Instead of saving a stone directly from atari, I tenukied. Instead of responding to an invasion, I took sente and either cut elsewhere or go back to an existing group.
In the end I won, but because I did a rational decision to abandon a corner group to go after the black group in the middle and ended up succeeding to kill it. My opponent resigned.
Ummie..............I actually had some thought on this but I've forgotten it by now cause was busy being involved in philosophical discussion in the English Game Room with a 9d Wolchengi and other players who chips in. It involved suicide, and life, and decisions and girls and go, and pride, and human nature and universities and other weird stuff that randomly pops up and topic changes every two seconds it seems. I'm finding it interesting and disturbed at the same time. Funnily, Wolchengi (2o yr old from USA now in Korea) has some nice thoughts on go and life, but weird ideas on girls. I find them archaic, and he has alot of pride.
It's late, I'm off to sleep, if I can wake up early to catch a friend on kgs, then maybe....................
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 6:21 AM
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