Thursday, March 22, 2007
When your history presentation is on the motivations of ordinary men massacring innocent jews, you know your week is sure to be interesting. Worse yet when you're caught off guard for a sexual politics tute presentation on ideas of sexuality and male dominance of women and that s&m should be accepted in society.
While I'm certainly glad I'm enjoying this semester more than the whole of last year put together, bouncing between two extremes can be rather mind numbing. Should I be accepting that there's no hope for humanity, that all human beings will kill, and kill with cruelty when placed in a directed 'us or them mentality' situation, or that all women are submissive beneath the overpowering dominance of males and that we have no original choice aside from being objectified objects existing solely for male pleasure?
I am hoping that in my 20 years and 14 years of education has made me a much wiser and progressing member of community. That I have my own thoughts and preferences and will not be induced to cruelty towards my fellow human beings. That I am a woman and proud of it, proud of my choices and ability to make a choice.
I am also very much hoping the rest of society progresses with me.
Which brings me to something that filtered through my memory just 10 seconds ago. I cannot say that I was very proud of that memory. Us enlightended educated members of society can sometimes be reduced to something less than dignified.
As we were walking along the street, I believe, towards the lovely Hans Brinker pancake house (along Russell street, just a few paces down from little Lonsdale), I caught sight of an old woman sitting on a bench, facing the greek cake shop. She was stunted as most....old people are wont to do as they grew old, and slightly....gibbering? I fear I am lacking the right words.
My first thought was hm, is she alright? Her hand reached out to us, and she muttered something, a few coins perhaps? Did she want to get home............
And then, I did something that was entirely entirely thoughtless. Even cruel....perhaps. I recoiled. Pulling Connie next to me, we both hurried on.
I did cast a backward look at her, she was seated, and quiet, her back hunched.
We've both ignored her, and left her there, even with thoughts that she may have needed help. Where were my sentiments for my fellow human beings. True, she was not injured and lying on the ground. But nevertheless. She looked alone.
How many times have I looked past people on the street and moved on, attempting not to look at them lest they caught sight of me and of myself ignoring them. Have I become so arrogant in my commoness that I can spare nothing. Human decency is rare, but often devalued. Worth nothing?
In the moment of pity, we often make a choice. To be a human being and offer a hand, or to succumb to conformity and succumb to our feelings to revulsion, though often that choice is silent.
I look back at my tutorials and think perhaps the right question would be not why they killed, but why they didn't resist killing.
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 12:29 AM
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