Saturday, December 03, 2005
I fainted. o.0.
Wow, surreal. I really should look after myself abit more. Didn't know what happened. Totally collapsed on the sidewalk as I waited for the driver to take me home. Semi concious tho so it was atleast partially ok seeing that it was rather lonely along that side of the building.
Hmmm......
Was feeling really unwell. Added that the past few days been piled with work. Boss calls me in right before lunch today, gave me a conveyancing file (which was one his partner's department where she has her staff who all went for lunch) and told me to finish it by 3pm so he can check. So.......while all the staff and my boss/es went for lunch, I stayed behind to finish the file. Ended up working through the whole afternoon past 5.30. Then discovered the driver was nowhere to be found so I waited by the side of the building and felt slightly dizzy and couldn't breathe. The whole cannot breathe thing is very worrisome. I mean..........I've collapsed before but not being able to breathe is terrifying. I remember the night when I was woken up cos I had an asthma attack during the middle of the night and was actually suffocating in my sleep. =(.
The actual attacks have kind of lessened. But now I get this constant inability to draw a full breathe. It came a couple of months ago ><. Sighie.
Just really stressed out. Bad enough with work, and then.........why do I even bother. Funny thing was that I actually told him it would. It happened to someone else, it would happen again. Found out from Ina..........of course I'm silly to have believed but still. Trust people too easily. Should have known, no one can switch from ignoring you one time to being all giggles and hugs the next. Then disappeared the next five days. Of course. It seems 'that' day was just because Ina said so and he was still emotionally unstable. Sighie...... Fragile little ballerina twirl twirl in your glass prison....
So tired....
I have...........stopped smiling. Some time now I guess, but just fully realised it today. Just continue to do my work, come home, onto kgs and gaia. And no smiles throughout. Wow. Well.........I'm happy when I finish a piece of art and the others like them. ^^ that's cool. Also I beat Bleyse several times on a 9x9. Just feeling rather bad the rest of the time though.........like no reason to smile. =(
Even the Christmas songs aren't helping. That other song is stuck.
I want to be perfect,
But I'm me,
I want to be flawless,
But you see,
Every little crack
Every little line,
That's just me.
Why don't you see,
How much I would have protected you,
I would have given everything,
To see your smile,
But that's too late now,
Once again.
Over and over, the song runs runs runs.
*runs away*
Okie.
Update on the rest of the week.
Not really sure if I had mention. I did some pet linearts. Doing auction now. Still no bids. Found art contests, will be completing tomorrow...yesuyesu.
I think it was on monday, went to court with boss. Summons in Chambers for the directors unlawful wirthdrawal of money from accounts.
zzzzzzzzzzz............^^.........so sleepy. Yawning. But the judge was quite mean to the opposing counsel. Said she had a shrill voice. o.0....so unfair.
Finished a drawing today. *woffles* I like it alot.
Just a private thing *wink*
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 1:09 AM
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