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Monday, July 04, 2005

My mood has deteriorated..............


Remember suicidal thoughts a while back? Yeah those tend not to disappear.....................instead they collect...................................................


I'm looking at my wrist right now thinking..........wow, what a nice thin blue vein that forks out into my hand just at the wrist and continues down my arm.......................clear, open, easy to follow.
Just as Han Qing Jao in Children of the Mind traces woodgrain lines, I can trace a blade down the thin blue vein.........occasionally it's hard to see, but it's not a problem when after it will be covered with red and warmth......


Obviously this is seeking attention..............I'm clear headed right now..............................just realised that when I tug around the skin at my arm, the vein moves along with it..........and it's beginning to feel numb................................not icy numb, just slightly fuzzy as if I'm scared to move it..............


I'm scared...............

Mused by Sukunami Taka around 3:12 AM

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