Nausea, panic, guilt, hyperventilation……………………… I think I’m sick again…………………………….
Don’t really understand why everytime I get sick, I feel guilty. I think it’s my body telling me that something is wrong with my mind. Certainly all that guilt is a figment of my consciousness, derived from pent up fear of all the changes that is happening around me. After all I’ve graduated, I have to start a new life, I have someone new in my life, I’m going on holiday by myself in Australia……………………………I can feel the nausea returning…………………………………..
So it seems I’ve dropped four kilograms………………….that isn’t good……….that means I’m truly sick. And sure I feel abit weak and have this slight ache in my head and this gnawing at the pit of my stomach and the slight bouts (it hit really badly yesterday when I went to school to discuss my scholarship essay and only to find out Mr. Ellis wasn’t here but that so did not stop the feeling of wanting to curl up and die as I felt like throwing up a lot) of queasiness……………………………
That certainly didn’t stop my mother from today yanking me up from bed to go shopping, of course her orders were delivered through grandma, and so I whimpered through breakfast trying to keep the food actually down instead of up and spent two hours waiting for her to arrive, and it was only last night that she said ‘let’s do the shopping next week if you are ill’ …………….well……………..still ill………….but didn’t stop her did it…………………………….
Onichan Derek is coming back tomorrow I think……………..that’s cool……………………………………………and I’ve risen to 17Kyu in go……………………and Schorrii won first place in his bouldering competition………………….. I’m feeling better…………….
+The Writer+
Taka is a young law/arts student, often bumbling through life and trying to be a person rather than being defined by social conventions.
Shy, geeky, emotional, proud, and quite bisexual, doesn't smoke, drink sometimes, passionate about most things, Taka spends time dreaming, dancing, drawing and watching movies, often anime.
Is in love with the idea of love, gives hugs at the most random times, and is constantly worrying about people eventhough it does not look like it.
Aspires to either become a beautiful hermit by the river or a world dictator.
+The Blog+
Niflheim represents both light and darkness, of the celebration and distaste of life, of musings and incoherent thought. It is an outlet for personified angst and pessimism with chuckfuls of laughter and smiles.
It is Taka's way of drawing out all the little disturbing thoughts giving rise to nightmares, a way to self reflect, a way to seek solace.
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