Monday, September 19, 2005
A new drawing in the Sabaki Files. This one is called Metaphorpheses, after the birth of the butterfly, influenced by the anime Tactics. The highlight of this piece centers on the beauty of the butterflies, richly decorated with patterns and colors. In one corner, lays a girl in a butterfly engraved kimono, her presence is less significant than that of the winged beauties.
Decided to change a little bit of the focus in the Sabaki Files. Before it has always been anything related to KGS, now it will focus on the idea of sabaki, which in go terms means a light shape. Ever since the opening of the Sabaki Files, I've been seeing changes in my drawings, they are becoming softer, more free flowing, resulting in drawings that are more gorgeous than anything I've ever done, more different, and inspired by the details of kimonos and yukatas as seen in HNG and Tactics and Rurouni Kenshin.
Been watching an anime called Tactics. I first heard of it....or rather saw it as an illustration book in kinokuniya, bound in hardcover, and absolutely excellent drawings of its main characters in...what else....kimonos and yukatas ^^......watching the anime, it reminded me of Yami No matsuei, possibly one of the most beautiful anime ever created with a fantastic plot and accompanying opening song. Unfortunately its creator decided to discontinue the anime.....so we were left with a paltry four chapters, 13 episodes YnM. Tactics is a lighter version, running on 25 episodes, of YnM. Its main characters are mirror images of those of YnM, with tall dark and deadly Haruka or his past alter ego Onikui Tengu as Tsuzuki, and younger, shorter and light haired Ichinomiya Kantarou as Hisoka. There is the also subtle undertone of yaoi, as these two characters form a bond, most evident somewhere in the fourth episode where Kantarou tells Haruka 'I will die for you'. They are also accompanied by Kantarou's fox demon who he has named Yoko (and she is so adoring, when fox ears pop up from her head from time to time) and the child Suzu who has a crush on Haruka, and Sugino Tengu the effiminate (can't be sure if it's male or female because the voice is definitely male but the anime kept referring to she, it's most weird) White Tengu who seems to be married to a weird cute green demon called Moo. The anime mostly follows Kantarou who has the ability to repel ghosts, so he and his friends investigates sightings........some of the stories are quite frightening like the one with the dolls in which one was possessed ><......ugh.....I woke up and had images of something watching me, or ghosts under the bed or behind me or on the ceiling.....definitely not sleeping alright........nevertheless the tone of the anime is much lighter than in YnM, less intense evil or emotions involved. I didn't the anime was quite appropriate....but it has its own charm...
I shall lay out the lyrics of the opening and ending.....oh...just saw episode eight, and saw something that looks like a legged go board, but it turned out they were playing shogi...><....
Opening- Secret World
If you listen carefully,
You should be able to hear it,
It seems to call your name,
In a low voice,
Deep in the forest of this big world,
Who is yelling out loud?
Burn this night,
Secret World,
Ready to rescue,
Toward the mysterious world,
Close your eyes and fly high,
Toward the invisible world,
Ancient,
Permanent,
Secret World.
Ending-
On the evening streets,
I suddenly call upon you,
Even if we are apart,
You can still hold me tight,
With your support,
I can feel your presence,
No matter who gets stronger and powerful,
The invisible power,
Is a great motivation,
The invisible power,
Is the courage you give me.
Sigh.....the ending song seems to appropriate to me right now...><.........sigh..................have you ever felt when you needed to talk to someone because of a problem only to discover you couldn't talk to that one person because the problem is between the two of you?........caught double trap.....and total living wreck..........*sadmiao*
Been such a bad week. Hmm....bad month generally....been feeling alot of stress, over uni and over work, alot of unhappiness about myself....everyone are leaving or have left for uni, I haven't seen or heard from school mates since exams are over. Pri nechan as I said has settled into Rochester, and the just on Saturday Su was packing for St Martin's London. She discovered Skype can called me and squealed for a good 10 minutes =), and we had a conference between her and me and Pri.....then she went back to packing. But that's it.....people are moving on, they are packing, they are moving and going to uni, and I....I'm here.....scared as hell to move on....I've never liked the idea of university, of going away from what I've known and starting by myself eventhough I've hated living here being restricted by rules and discrimination....just scared of going and feeling like I can't handle it.........and now mother has ...well, dad was the one who wanted me to work, but it was mother who somehow ambushed me into a three month PA job for who else but Mr Lee.............again....working for him again....ok this time I get paid for it...still so stressed over doing mistakes. He goes and tell me the day before I was suppose to start that I didn't need to come in that day, then in the evening he goes 'urgent matter' that I needed to convert a legal document into a letter. *sigh*
UCL and UCAS kept sending letters confirming my placement.....starkly reminding me what I'm giving up. While people are going to prestigious London Universities...what have I done with my life.....
There is just such a huge difference between having a passion you're happy with, and having a passion that you hate. I'm beginning to think more and more of the latter. That I may spend so much time and effort and hope into taking law and becoming a lawyer and ultimately fulfilling the career of my choice, yet to what extent am I happy with what I want to do? It is just so bleak. Studying the injustices in the world, being surrounded by possible criminals, or peers who spend their lives defending guilty but yet to be proven criminals.......everything so black and white, cruel, rigid....I'm beginning to hate my future. What is killing me is the idea that I might have hated my future all along....
Fell sick.....Yesterday was totally wiped out, with a fever and flu and a bad hacking cough that left me wheezing and hard to breathe. The skin around my eyes swelled, so my face got swollen, I couldn't see and was in pain generally the whole day, taking panadol and medicine.......even better I had to call Mr Lee for a sick day on my first day! Which is now being spent....sitting here...waiting for the swelling to go down....great way to start work....
Grandma found a vial of yellow liquid and thought I was on drugs.....great.......-.-...it's highlighter refill thingy....she was the one who bought it....no one knows me in this house do they.....*mutter*.......drugs.......
Got letter from school.....Cambridge Examinations Board found that I was top in sociology in this country, so receiving an award......yippee..............
Can't sleep...........can't think...................bad bad headache.............................missing someone..........
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 10:03 PM
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