Friday, July 22, 2005
Bringing my palms forward and locking my hands on top of each other, I moved forward and settled down, a smooth deliberate action as I knelt and bowed my head....................acquiescence.....submission.
Looking out the window, the clouds are thick yet scattered, hanging gray as if tearing the blue sky into pieces. It is quiet….staring long enough, discerning the unhurried path of the clouds, obscuring yet more sky and light.
Have you wished the wind to blow the other way, to tear off those grayness and whirl them in a frenzy. Have I wish for rain, so that lightning may strike and bring light and thunder to scream, forcing the thrill and fear into my throat........
And bring that clear empty blade to be slashed with redness, warmth.........
Staring at these empty hands............I see blood, I see loss. I see nothing. Nothing to hold, to clasp and say mine. They are open, yearning........pleading.........cold.
The feeling hangs this craven body within the air, at a perfect moment of inability to move, all memories and thoughts hammering to find an outlet........overcomes and discard this body.
There is always this silence, and silent body. Refusing to call out even though the pain tears aside within.........will you not reach out and take my hand, will you reach out and take someone else’s............
Or seeing these tears fall to the ground, I am hunched and broken, attempting to heal by crying without sound because no one can hear but still, even these emitted tears will waste away…. Allows me to find some peace because I can see this, visible proof that your words hurt me, that your neglect leaves a little of me behind to rot behind this line of smiles, falsity becomes my sun infront of thunderclouds, it is my armor.
Kimi Wa...
by Sukunami Taka
Kneeling before you,
My front has fallen away,
No true self can be as visible,
It's as if the sun has retreated and brought out meaning,
Can you ever forgive me,
These whispers speak themselves of me,
I see through your eyes,
The pain you bear for yourself,
Will you not let go,
Bring your hand towards mine,
The bright roadway stands silent,
Empty waiting for two souls to cover with soft footsteps,
Not wanting to release our hands,
Intertwined and laced,
Occasionally a shadow mars,
Making it seem your hand isn't there,
Where you could once be,
Don't talk to me of pain,
What you could be offering,
So much greater,
Do you not think I can feel it,
That I am silent,
The only silence speaking in thunder,
Trying to reach your mind,
Through this concrete, I cannot pierce,
I'm beating furiously, failing, collapsing,
Defeated upon the floor and waiting,
For your hands to brush the burning tears from my cheek,
Bowing my head, waiting...............
-end-
Mused by Sukunami Taka around 4:10 PM
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