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Wednesday, September 12, 2007

I feel bloated.
Bubble tea and chinese food is very filling and slightly.....too much. Must fix eating habits and take more walks and find out why my apartment smells.

I feel sorry for my politics tutor because it seems he's landed a classroom full of medically impaired girls.......
Like first there's me with the 3 am email saying major depression, need extension.
Then there's girl with also.........something going on.
And another girl....who also have something going on.
Poor guy.
Love his smile though.

Sammy's been climbing into the sink. No idea why.

I miss daddy and going for mango sorbet and our ritualistic steak dinner.
I miss grandma's soy sauce chicken, which I have no idea how to make and no it's not simply putting chicken and soy sauce together.

I guess I feel kind of scared about how close I came to throwing my life away. At the moment I'm back at the stage where I think I was so stupid to think I was so weak.
Yet everytime, it gets worse, and closer and to the point where, it doesn't matter anymore. And how close I came to not only thinking about suicide but planning it and deliberately creating life threatening situations.
What will happen the next time I wonder.
It's kind of sad to find living to be such a chore.

Mused by Sukunami Taka around 2:06 PM

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