I feel like crap…….
Actually I feel worse than that but because since everything that I know has been ransacked and stomped upon in front of me, somehow lengthy wordy description is simply not in me anymore……….so……
I feel like crap…
I hate my life…
I hate myself…
I still feel like crap… i.e. I’m a complete hole…….oxymoron or not…….a total and utter whole filled with emptiness and pain and sadness and tears that cannot be stopped and seem to come out of my now red and very ugly eyes everytime I stop thinking ‘I’m ok’…
I’m not ok…I won’t be ok…
An article somewhere said that if someone cries long enough, they can go blind…I’m now waiting for me to go blind so atleast I have something else to cry about…
Already from seven people they tell me not to do anything ‘stupid’……i.e. suicide……..that’s not the first time though is it….you know you can’t slash your wrist sideways like you see in the movies……you have to go vertically down that thin blue vein trailing down your wrist……it has to be the vein, because if it is the artery the blood pressure would be too great and it would be very messy with blood splurting everywhere……..the vein on the other hand has lower pressure…….so the blood would slowly trickle out…….squeezed out between the skin……then congealed after awhile…………so you have to cut deeper and longer so that your blood cant stop flowing…..
I hate myself…there isn’t a blade available in the house…….there used to be….the scissors though is not sharp enough…….knives though are too big…..beggars can’t be choosers anyway…
I hate my life…
I feel like crap…
I feel dead…
+The Writer+
Taka is a young law/arts student, often bumbling through life and trying to be a person rather than being defined by social conventions.
Shy, geeky, emotional, proud, and quite bisexual, doesn't smoke, drink sometimes, passionate about most things, Taka spends time dreaming, dancing, drawing and watching movies, often anime.
Is in love with the idea of love, gives hugs at the most random times, and is constantly worrying about people eventhough it does not look like it.
Aspires to either become a beautiful hermit by the river or a world dictator.
+The Blog+
Niflheim represents both light and darkness, of the celebration and distaste of life, of musings and incoherent thought. It is an outlet for personified angst and pessimism with chuckfuls of laughter and smiles.
It is Taka's way of drawing out all the little disturbing thoughts giving rise to nightmares, a way to self reflect, a way to seek solace.
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